Of late, I’ve had a lot of frustrations. We all have. Work, personal, life, family, relationships, traffic, parking… they all have static — even at the best of times. Those sort of challenges I’ve learned to deal with and like to tackle. But I have never really challenged myself physically until recently. Don’t get me wrong, my body frustrates me (don’t get me started on skin or allergies) but pushing it and reaching a limit has never been in my psyche or mental makeup before.
Until this morning.
The morning, as my father taught me, is the best part of the day. For those of you that live in the South during Summer probably know it is the only time of the day to be outside. The morning is still cool and welcoming. My neighborhood is especially inviting — the gentle hills, the trees fully covered in leaves. It wants you to explore it, the pink sunrise tells you that you must be out in it. Enjoy it before the heat and the glare and the smell of asphalt heating up with the sun’s climb. In my case then, it is the ideal time for me to train. That part of this morning was still the case. Morning in midtown today was perfect. So I start and I go and I’m getting labored and lungs feel spent, but I’m very goal oriented at times and continue. Until the next to last 2 minute cycle — and then I blow it the last few seconds and have to stop. I’ve never been so disappointed in myself and my body. It was, to put it mildly, frustrating. I try to push back those feelings and go on and complete the last one (unfortunately it was uphill for the last leg). But everything in me is protesting. Nothing is happy. This is not the feel of sheets and sleep that I’ve spoiled my body with for the last 3 decades of my life. I get it on some level. The body is pissed.
But so am I, right? I’m pissed off too. Here I am making an effort and my lungs will not comply. Frustration. I was warned this would happen but wasn’t prepared for it. Anyway, I turned that into anger and for a change spent that negative energy into a triumph. One last little slope climbing up to Penn and I ran it — Ran it even though it’s not on the program. Ran it even though my body didn’t want to. Ran it anyway.
So take that body. I’ve been nurturing my mind my whole life. The body, it’s got nothing on me. (just don’t pay me back with a pulled muscle please.)
Hope you all find something to tackle and make the anger work for you.