Oddly enough, for a person currently without a job, I labored today. Painting and shopping for home improvement is labor enough. So, I’m sitting here with “Churchill Hotel Navajo White” interior trim paint on my fingertips and a slight ache in my back. Painting is nothing new to me; but painting out of motivation is.
It is not a coincidence that I’ve not been able to write very much or often. The last few months — in the midst of my reflecting in the now — I realized that I had found a place that suited me. Naturally my current thoughts drift towards my return to Florence. Not just thought, but action as well. So, I’m done with waiting and longing — now it is preparation and anticipation of going back. And in the chance that you are confused, yes, this means I intend to not be here in the States very long. Some may think this irrational or at least immature. But, before you judge hastily, I would like to ask everyone reading this if there is something they have always wanted and never accomplished. Lost love, abandoned dreams, the little wishes that nag at us — all of the things we put off in the name of prior commitments, comfort, convenience, no time, no money. That is irrational. Because really, even if there were an after life or reincarnation or some other entity that gives us a second chance (401-K plan?) — there is no guarantee that the small essence of forgotten desires will be realized. So I am going.
And to all of you, dust off your equivalent of a hope chest and maybe do the same. Fear, and fear of failure, is something to overcome — not to live by.
Good luck and wish me the same!