Small epiphanies, and then . . .?

This morning I spent some much needed time alone in my apartment. There were rain clouds out the kitchen window and a breeze that made August a liar. Somehow this was the perfect mix for a realization: I know my self.

It is not that I didn’t before. But to be honest, I allow too many things to influence my behavior and actions. Social norms, empathy, compassion, and a general fear of hurting people’s feelings may benefit in small doses, but I can take it to the extreme. I modify to appease and placate. Maybe we all do. Maybe we should stop. Compromise could be over-rated, especially when you begin to lose sight of who you are. And that was the opening I realized; I have lived exactly the way I want for almost 8 months now. I can’t believe that it took me this long to pinpoint what I will really miss about this space. The place, yes. The people, without any doubt. But the freedom to be one with your inner being, to reveal the within — that will be what I miss the most of all — living the inner on the outside.

Maybe I can do it upon my return. At least I’ll try and let you know when I get there.

Oh! I’ll continue to blog for a bit with perhaps a name change, but the same address.

4 responses to “Small epiphanies, and then . . .?

  1. Wonder what it is about that space that has allowed you such freedom?

  2. Compromise is overrated. It is useful when negotiating a contract or world diplomacy. It is helpful when settling an issue between two siblings ie ” Duncan we will see Cyclorama, but first we need to go to the petting zoo while it is cool. Cyclroma is airconditioned that is better at 1:00″. Since you are not a real estate person or a diplomat, and you do not have two children with opposite interest, you do not need to compromise at this point in your life. Your dad and I are utterly proud of you. You have proven yourself. You could never hurt our feelings at this point. Your inner being is so beautiful. Keep it outside! It is just the other side of the pond. Come home! Freedom Awaits you! So do five wonderful little kitties! but the bobs want to stay with Duncan. Skunk Ape, Gandolph and Cadbury love their sunny bedroom at the farm; but they will be in Tally waiting for you on your screened room. Love Mom

  3. Well of course, compromise has its plus side — it is just when you compromise at the risk of what or who you really are that it becomes dangerous.

    As for what allowed me this, maybe it is the lack of television, or alienation from the person that I had become. Leave the familiar trappings and then awaken. Umm, I think Thoreau would approve. And Uncle Walt.

  4. O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done . . .

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