This morning I spent some much needed time alone in my apartment. There were rain clouds out the kitchen window and a breeze that made August a liar. Somehow this was the perfect mix for a realization: I know my self.
It is not that I didn’t before. But to be honest, I allow too many things to influence my behavior and actions. Social norms, empathy, compassion, and a general fear of hurting people’s feelings may benefit in small doses, but I can take it to the extreme. I modify to appease and placate. Maybe we all do. Maybe we should stop. Compromise could be over-rated, especially when you begin to lose sight of who you are. And that was the opening I realized; I have lived exactly the way I want for almost 8 months now. I can’t believe that it took me this long to pinpoint what I will really miss about this space. The place, yes. The people, without any doubt. But the freedom to be one with your inner being, to reveal the within — that will be what I miss the most of all — living the inner on the outside.
Maybe I can do it upon my return. At least I’ll try and let you know when I get there.
Oh! I’ll continue to blog for a bit with perhaps a name change, but the same address.