Yes, I’ll be home on Tuesday, August 8th. And because of the insufferable, sweltering heat; the packs of David Gilmour fans and other tourists; the relatively worthless refrigeration and air conditioning here— and of course the thought of seeing family, friends, and cats — I’m getting excited about my return.
But then, Shelby told me it was 104 degrees the other day in North Carolina. I would sigh, but that would mean I’d have to suck in the warm air of my office. Italy and the South have a lot in common, but I can only think of the fact neither are places to be right now. And yet, I get to do both!
My overall crankiness, though heat related, is really just another manifestation of connection. This time, it is the knowledge of disconnect. And yes, I intend to come back. And of course I will not lose touch with everyone. But the truth is we don’t really know what life opens up to us and so I know that for now I have to say goodbye to this place and some wonderful people. Byes are not my strong suit. It’s much easier to be snarly with those you are close to, maybe have an argument, then work yourself up into a fit of feeling like you hate the place and the people your moving away from. Juvenile? Yes; but quite effective.
Fortunately, I have this blog. In the re-reading I know deep down that my current snit is just a defense mechanism. Bring on the heat, hordes, and hazy days of summer. It isn’t going to change my mind about the place. It just lets me know to avoid a return in the month of August.